My Stupid Bra

For the New Year I went bra shopping. Not my favorite thing to do. One of the things I hate is I go straight for all the cute little lacy pink things. Problem is those cute things on display are not my size for sure. I go around and find the lacy pink things in my size and when I find them they are not so cute anymore. These look more like something I would find in my sons baseball equipment bag, or at some Renaissance fair in the knights armor wardrobe room. I'm talking HUGE cups.

I end up finding a few bras that are to my liking and my daughters because she is always telling me “you need something padded cuz your ahem’s are showing”. Usually I can control this by folding up some toilet paper and sticking it in my bra to pad the nips. Vanessa thinks that’s just wrong, so I did go for at least one something padded.
The cups looked so big I did not want to lay this one particular bra on the grocery belt. I took it off the hanger and scrunched it up as much as possible, it just kept popping (yeah popping) back into shape so onto the belt a big white mound of Everest went on it’s way to the (of course) male cashier.

I get home and prance around in front of Angel in my new bras; “how’s this one?” “How’s this one?”. After awhile he’s like “fine” and my lingerie show was over without much ado. I love all my new bras except for the stupid padded one. It’s so uncomfortable, the wires (more like rounded steel beams) are killing me and every time I try to adjust, a tit pops out the bottom! I think today will be the last time I wear it. I am going to make use of it though somehow, someway. Next winter I think I will cut it apart and use the cups to cover my rose bushes or something

Pp

I have writers block as well so. Nobody sent me a letter so I picked my own. P.

Parties- I love parties, They are a time to get together with your friends and family. I have an annual 4th party and some of the people that come I only get to see once a year at this annual party.

Places- All of the places in the world to go. Restaurants, car-shows, tournaments, competitions, Six Flags, ETC. I could go on forever and ever with this one.

Pee- This is a good one. I like to pee. Sometimes I have to go pee so bad and my bladder is going to bust for sure. Then I pee and AHHHHHH.

Picks- As in choice. I get to pick my friends and I have done a great job with my picks.

Pictures- How many people take a picture and look at it the second after it is taken? I love pictures. You can look at them over and over and they always make you smile with the memories that come along with them.

Play – Who does not to play? My favorite thing to play is Jokes!

Pink – The color pink. Such a sweet color. A whole load of pink laundry when you have a girl..Sheeesh.

Punks – Those sticks with that brown stuff on them to light fireworks. How handy dandy are those? Plenty – Plenty of you name it is all good!

Pregnant - Ick, I did not like that.

Thanks

I don't know how to respond to my comments so I am doing it here. Thank You for your heartfelt sympathies and all the nice words. Some of you I know personally and am I glad I have you in my life. Some of you I dont know personally yet I feel as if you are genuine in your thoughts. Like Dee says she wants to kick some "corparate ass" for me. What a friend, bring some boxing gloves and we will tag-team them Dee! Leslie says I should do a sit in.Thats a great idea, will you send pizza if I do? Cassie, so sweet, tells me to keep the faith and keep my head up. I will Cass! Marilyn would share her bonus with me if she got one. Im wishing she worked for a fortune 500 and did get one! That would be sweet! Soxy Deb feels my pain since she has been in the same boat since June. Thanks for knowing how Im feeling!

On the brighter side I am kinda looking foward to bieng off for a little while. I have been working straight since I was about 16. Only time off for the newborns and that for sure was no break!

Thanks again for caring!


******Hi, this is Jess! Toni can't access Blogger from work and has limited access to a PC at home. Not to mention, she is PC challenged. She e-mails her posts to me and then I get them on here for her. So, if you're wondering why you don't get return comments from her, that is the reason.

Who knows, maybe she'll become the Blog Queen after she's home.

For those of you her know her, please join me in encouraging her to pursue a comic career. We all know what a natural she is - she just needs a break!

It just gets better and better.....

As most of you know, I've been laid off.

I am so mad I want to pick up and leave, but if I do that then I cant go for unemployment benefits.

They are offering no severance. They say that unused vacation will be paid out and that's what we get. I said "I thought vacation was for using?" Needless to say by the end of the year I have used all my vacation days. So no severance for me.

We also get a quarterly "incentive bonus" it is usually $1250., well not getting that either.

I still have Christmas bonus to look forward to so my kids can have some kind of Christmas! Today we got our checks (payroll) and no Christmas bonus included. I ask why no Christmas bonus. Well since they have to pay out the vacation time to people that had a bankroll of it there is no money for Christmas Bonus. Let me tell you I work the books and know what is in there and that is just bullshit. Besides that fact I am now steaming at all these losers who would rather come to work than use a fuckin day of vacation.

To lay it all out. I got told no job after the 31st, no incentive bonus, no severance and no Christmas bonus....Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

My new joke.

Sometimes I crack myself the hell up!

I work with a person who has come to be a friend of mine. We are so different. One of our biggest differences is she is gay; I am not. We are always bantering back and forth. She calls me a dork I call her a fag.

I love to make her blush talking about “penis” and stuff. She cringes and says “EWW don’t tell me that”. To get back at me I have to hear about “gay” stuff and how some girls eat or how some girls wont eat, if you get my drift. Something like that. I try not to listen to hard. Yuck.

Anyway we are just sitting here and she burps. The first thing that comes to my mind is a word, some people know what the word means and some people don’t. If you know the word you will think my new joke is HILARIOUS If you don’t you will think it is dumb. So my new joke that I personally made up and you can tell all your friends if you want:

What do you call it when a lesbian burps?
A Queef!
Bah dum dum!

Yep, made it up all by myself!

The first time in my life I got my eyebrows done!

This is Jess - I've hacked into Toni's blog to post a HILARIOUS blog she wrote on her MySpace back on January 19, 2008:

Mom gave me a gift certificate for an eyebrow wax for Christmas. I went today. Im sure you have seen a video or something of a guy getting his chest done and they rip off the hair. That was me. We are talking 42 years fo eyebrow hair and they are not the soft kind, kinda wirey. Let me tell you it HURT!!!!!!!!!!!! You should have seen the hair on the paper after she ripped it off! A Caterpillar! The Vietnamese that did it? If she told me one more time about "it look bad" "you need to do" "I makeah much better" Then she shows me the hair on the tape "you takeah too long to do, SEE!" She tells me to look at my beautiful new eyebrow job. The first thing I thought was "I look like a drag queen" And now its itchin. I will post a pic of the new me soon!

Party’s with Jess and Toni:

My posting sister posted on her post-site today the following:

“My sister and I are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to having parties, dinners, etc. I tend to fly by the seat of my pants (and it always works out) while she has things planned out weeks, if not months, in advance. My way makes her nuts while her way makes me nuts.”

YOO-kay, notice how she says “(and it always works out)” Want to know why it works out? Because the pain in the ass, as she likes to think, Toni (me) ALWAYS comes early to make sure it works out. I will arrive at her house super early and all the chips are set out, but still in the bags, kinda like a buffet of open chip bags to dig your hands in and take as you please. The dips stay in their plastic containers (cuz she makes nothing from scratch), the hot stuff is cold, the cold stuff is hot and so on. Before all the guests arrive I make sure everything is out into fancy bowls, everything has a serving spoon, re-heat hot stuff, re-chill cold stuff. I check to make sure the plates, the cups, the silverware and napkins are all in sight otherwise everyone is standing around the food “got a plate” “got a spoon”.

In my defense the reason I call Jess a million times is to find out exactly what she has or more like, what she has forgotten. This way I can show up with what she does not have or “lightly” suggest she get it. I also need to know exactly what time she is putting stuff in the oven so I can get there and take care of it all before it comes out and make sure it is actually done or to make sure it’s not going to burn.

By the time dinner is served I am exhausted and Jess is all refreshed “See all your worrying and planning for nothing, everything is fine” I don’t know if she will ever get it. But as long as I am around all her party’s will be a success. What in the world would she do without me?